Wednesday, March 04, 2009

The Prospect of Parenting

Lot's has been going on lately, Koog-Fans.

We've traveled some, cried some, laughed some and worked lots. Isaac, our puppy is approaching his 1st birthday and our beloved Bailey has been gone for nearly a year now but never forgotten. I'm happy that the Wife is nearly done with her away from home assignment and will rejoin the household full-time in a few short months.

Now that life is settling down for us, we're preparing for our biggest project yet, a baby. Yes, a little Koog. Our very own bean-eating, video game playing, drum-banging, mini-Koog. Although, there is no "bun-in-the-oven" just yet, the planner that I am has begun the requisite preparation.

I vacillate hourly between unbridled excitement and shear terror. Everyone tells me, "Dude, your life is going to change." That's exactly what freaks me out. I like my life. Actually, I LOVE my life. I am the center of my universe. I do what I want, when I want (of course, with permission from the wife). I eat what I want, when I want and sometimes I eat out of inappropriate containers. (Shout out to E-Bone!)

When I think about the lifetime commitment we’re about to make to this little being, I start to sweat like I’m trapped in an elevator on a hot summer day. Will I love this pooping, crying, peeing, living shackle bound to my ankle? Will I be a good parent? Can I minimize the amount of therapy the kid will need when it’s older? Will my neurotic ways and obsessive planning rub off in a negative way? Will hate me?

And then, in a split second, the terror is over and I start to feel the excitement. I can picture Mrs. Koog holding the baby for the first time. I feel the love in her eyes. I wonder what its first word will be? Will it get excited to see me when I get home from work? Will it know how much we love it?

Are these thoughts and feelings all prospective parents go through? My parents seemed like old pros to me and I was their only kid. Will the wife and I be able to pull off that kind of con?

So, this is where I am. More questions than answers. More excitement than fear.

Realizing that I need to stop referring to my prospective offspring as “it.”

Advice is welcome.